Spinach and Tofu

This morning, when I took the opportunity to have a moment of quiet contemplation (aided by a 12oz Americano), my small bubble was invaded by some of life's big questions. For example-

Why am I poking this chossy mound of spinach and tofu; am I hoping to find some awesome, earth-shaking power to aid me in sending future highballs? Why do women eschew soloing? What separates a budding soloer from a reckless youth? Can we only solo when we are exceedingly depressed or emerging from one of life's crisis? If this soymilk is almond-flavored, then why does the box say "unsweetened"?